Betrayal Trauma Therapy
“Trust is restored when we learn to trust ourselves and build trust with others. There is no other way.” - Patrick Carnes
What Happened to You Is Not Something You Simply Get Over
You may have found out recently. You may have known for a while but still feel like the ground hasn't stopped moving. Either way, if you're here, you're likely carrying something that is difficult to put into words and even harder to carry alone. I’m so glad you found your way here.
What Is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you deeply trusted, someone you built your life around and your safety around, violates that trust in a profound way. It can follow the discovery of a partner's infidelity, compulsive sexual behavior, or sex addiction. And it is, in every clinical sense of the word, trauma.
This isn't heartbreak. It isn't simply a relationship problem. What you are experiencing is a trauma response and it deserves to be treated as one.
Dr. Patrick Carnes and others in the field have been clear on this: partners of those struggling with sexual addiction are not codependent enablers. They are trauma survivors. The shame, the self-doubt, the obsessive thoughts, the body that won't calm down, these are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are signs that something was done to you.
Signs You May Be Experiencing Betrayal Trauma
You may be in the right place if you are experiencing:
Intrusive images or thoughts you can't turn off, no matter how hard you try
A body that feels constantly on high alert, scanning, checking, unable to rest
Swinging between rage and grief, sometimes within the same hour
Questioning everything you thought you knew about your relationship, your partner, and yourself
Feeling isolated because you can't tell anyone, or because the people you've told don't fully understand
Blaming yourself, wondering what you missed, replaying moments trying to make sense of it
A desperate need to know everything and simultaneously wishing you could unknow it all
Feeling like you're going crazy, even though you know you're not
Months have passed and you're still not okay, and you're starting to wonder if you ever will be
What you're describing is not weakness, it’s a completely understandable response to something that should never have happened to you.
Why Betrayal Trauma Requires Specialized Support
Not all therapists are trained to work with betrayal trauma specifically, and working with a generalist can sometimes leave partners feeling minimized, rushed toward forgiveness, or subtly blamed for the state of the relationship.
Betrayal trauma is complex. It often involves:
Relational trauma layered on top of whatever attachment wounds you already carried into the relationship
Gaslighting and deception that may have gone on for months or years, leaving you questioning your own perception of reality
Ongoing triggers in the form of a partner who is still in your life, still in your home, and still the person your nervous system both fears and loves
Disenfranchised grief — mourning a relationship, a version of your partner, and a version of your life that may never have fully existed
This is not something a few sessions of general couples therapy will resolve. It requires dedicated, individual support that takes your experience seriously on its own terms.
How We Work Together
Betrayal trauma requires a therapist who understands it at a deep, specialized level, not someone who will treat it as a relationship problem to be managed or rush you toward forgiveness before you are ready. This work requires genuine clinical depth, a trauma-informed foundation, and the ability to work with the whole of your experience, not just the cognitive layer of it. That is what I bring to this work.
My approach integrates Somatic Experiencing-informed therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Brainspotting, and advanced trauma treatment in a way that is specifically suited to the complexity of what betrayal trauma survivors carry. I have trained extensively in body-based trauma approaches, including two years of training under a Somatic Experiencing practitioner and completion of Integrative Somatic Parts Work training through the Embody Lab. I am also trained in Brainspotting and IFS, two of the most powerful and evidence-informed modalities available for trauma processing. This is not generalist therapy with a somatic flavor. It is specialized, integrative work built specifically for people carrying what you are carrying.
In our work together, we work at every level of your experience, not just making sense of what happened, but helping your nervous system actually begin to feel safe again. Here is what that looks like in practice:
Processing the trauma itself - We create space to feel and express what has been too much to hold, at a pace that is always determined by you. Using Brainspotting, we can access and process trauma stored beneath conscious awareness, reaching the parts of your experience that words alone cannot touch. We work carefully and collaboratively, never pushing your nervous system further than it is ready to go.
Working with your body - Betrayal trauma lives intensely in the body. The hypervigilance, the physical inability to relax, the visceral reactions to triggers are not just emotional responses, they are physiological ones rooted in your nervous system's attempt to protect you. Drawing from Somatic approaches, we help your nervous system move out of survival mode and begin to find genuine moments of safety and rest, not just intellectually, but in your body.
Working with your parts Drawing from Internal Family Systems, we make space for all of the different parts of you that are activated right now. The part that is furious. The part that still loves them. The part that blames itself. The part that just wants the pain to stop. Rather than fighting these parts or trying to silence them, we work with them with curiosity and compassion, so that you can begin to feel more integrated and less at war with yourself. For betrayal trauma survivors, this work can be profoundly liberating.
Reclaiming your sense of self Betrayal has a way of collapsing your world down to the trauma. Over time, our work creates space to reconnect with who you are beyond this experience, your values, your instincts, your voice, and your life. Many clients describe this as the part of the work that feels most like coming home.
What To Expect
Our work together begins with establishing safety and understanding your experience before moving into deeper processing. Sessions are paced entirely by you and may include somatic awareness exercises, nervous system regulation skills, parts-based exploration, and therapeutic conversation.
Many clients come in feeling like they are barely holding it together. Over time, the work creates more room, more capacity to feel without being overwhelmed, more moments of groundedness, and a slowly returning sense of self that the trauma temporarily obscured.
You Deserve Support That Takes This Seriously
What happened to you matters. Your healing matters. You don't have to keep carrying this alone, and you don't have to be further along or more put-together before you reach out.
Contact me and we can explore together whether this work would be a good fit for you.
Contact me
Interested in working together? Fill out some info and I will be in touch shortly. I can’t wait to hear from you!

